SLOPS

You know I hesitate to be cynical about a very serious problem that is making people sick here, in North America and around the world but the perennial media frenzy over yet another pandemic threat really irritates me. It is serious. But we do tend to lose all sense of perspective when these things come up.

I can't put it any better than a viral e-mail that did the rounds a few years ago when SARS was the terrifying spectre of choice:

The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS). Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, and Canada, following further outbreaks of the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits.

A WHO spokesman said, “You’d be much better off going to somewhere like Thailand or China, because all you’ve got to worry about there is SARS, and let’s face it, you’re about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns.”

The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months, which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly effects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore considered much more serious.

The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something to worry about. Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and that simply would not do.

Comments

[Clint Heine]

Yep, I used to go to Asia during SARS and Bird flu as I knew it would be when silly people were sitting at home hiding from these scary diseases... sheesh. People are dumb.

[Dolan]

I am pleased we agree on something Clint. That is, aside from our shared appreciation for the beautiful game.

[Jordan Carter]

Why is it, do you think, that people get so neurotic about risk? Or so unable to judge how risky - or not risky - something is? I've never been able to understand it. E.g. in London in 2004, after the Madrid bombings, the tube was nearly empty. Why? Did bombs in Spain mean London was up for it the next day?

Risk and how we react to it are I think an under-thought-through part of modern life.. and risk adversity a real break on what we might all achieve.

[Dolan]

People get worked into a frenzy by the media who love a good disaster story. Nothing sells papers and gets tv ratings better. People believe it because society teaches you from a very young age to listen to what you are told and not to question things. But that is a WHOLE other topic right there :-)

[Clint Heine]

I was at Heathrow 6am the morning after the London bombings ready to fly to Prague... no bloody tube bombings going to stop me living my life. I was glad to get out as the news was non-stop bombing news and it was just boring. It meant I was even given the day off when it happened... one advantage I guess :)